Tuesday, May 5, 2009

advise needed please!

Y'all, question. There is this horribly mean girl in my sorority, who is transferring at the end of semester; she has been nothing but mean to be since day one of new member ed in fall 2007, and I've done a really good job of being civil to her, plus I never see her on a regular basis outside of chapter; this semester, I haven't seen her at all really, since I've been inactive. I never have spoken bad about her, but she must believe I do because she sent me a facebook message that read "Please keep my name out of your mouth in future conversations. I'd really appreciate that. Thanks!" Why would I waste my time talking about a girl I do not get along with, am not friends with and have no interest in? The only thing I said was to my little at lunch today, simply saying that my parents were relieved to hear she was leaving because of how mean she has been to me. I do not tolerate people with her attitude and superiority complexes in my life because I think they're toxic, so why does she get under my skin? Because I go to a small university, with a small Greek system, and a very small house (around 35 girls total) and she is well liked my most people because of her ambition. She has a lot of drive, but just is not a nice individual, unless she wants something, very much like our head advisor can come across at times. I know she may be filled with the best of intentions towards others, but she is so horribly atrocious to me! I have no idea why either; I have never been unkind towards her and even tried really hard in the beginning for her to like me, because I don't like not getting along with people, especially someone to whom I pledged my eternal sisterhood. In October of our freshman year, I had heard her beta fish died, so I bought her a new one as a surprise to try and show that I could be the bigger person. . .obviously that worked out well since last spring she accused me of starting rumors about her, when it turned out, she herself started the rumors and was simply trying to get me in trouble. I try really hard to disengage from drama and conflict, because I don't need it in my life. Please give me some advice, this girl kind of scares me with the power she weilds withour advisors and current president, as well with panhellenic and the greek life advisor. I have to be approved to be reactivated and having this girl after my head is not good. Plus, as much as I know it shouldn't get to me, it does because I'm a people pleaser and this stress coupled with finals is not going to be fun. If she approaches me while I'm working or on my way to class, how should I handle it? Generally when we see each other she ignores me, and I smile and say hello, just like I would to anyone else I know. . . Please give me some advice and pray that God grants me the serentity to handle this maturely. I pray for her every day, because even if she doesn't like me, I still know that God loves her, as should I, as hard as she makes it. . .

3 comments:

Preppy 101 said...

My advice is to do nothing. Because anything you do will just keep this stirred up. If she confronts you, simply tell her that you haven't said a word about her and don't intend to and walk away. I would not say a word about her to anyone - not your little, big, grand - anyone. Just be thankful that she is leaving. You can come back after summer and this issue can be nonexistent. Hopefully your advisors, etc. will judge you on yourself, not any gossip. Good Luck. Keep us posted. xoxo

Polka Dots & Protein Bars said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry about this girl. Girls like this filled my sorority which led me to eventually quit. I agree with Preppy 101. Anything you say or approach her with will be spun and make you look like the bad guy. I hate that you're dealing with this!

Tara Gibson said...

My advice is to ignore her, give her no reason to make you out to be the "bad guy" Kill her with kindness! keep us posted!